So Quiet In Here

I've been a fan of Van Morrison  for as long as Andrea and I have been together and it struck me as a good spot to re-ignite this blog. I've been neglecting it as my focus has been on healing and as understandable as that is I don't think it's right or balanced. So this is meant to kickstart a shift.

The song goes likes this as you get into it:

All my struggling in the world
And so many dreams that don't come true
Step back, put it all away
It don't matter, it don't matter anymore
Oh this must be what paradise is like
This must be what paradise is like
It's so quiet in here, so peaceful in here
It's so quiet in here, so peaceful in here

From a very optimistic (idealistic?) opening of "your heart beating close to mine" to a follow-up "glass of wine with some friends" the thought remains consistent... be at peace with yourself. Paradise found is what you see when you look inside and know you're where you should be looking.

Now let me make it personal... the time I spent dealing with life's roll of my dice has really gotten me to think about what's important and led me to try to find places I can (hopefully) have an impact and possibly make a difference.

I choose to try to do more, not less. I'm hoping my body agrees with this plan (so far it's being reluctant) but I am pushing ahead with the optimistic (idealistic?) perspective I am prone to.

On the plus side:

• Multiple bike races covered, more planned (even though I had to miss some of the major events of 2013 like ToEG, MSA and the Quebec/Montreal races).
• more published articles this year than I would have thought possible for me, as a visual guy. I'll have to not say anything for at least a year just to reset the scales!
• I put my bike back together last weekend, yes the one I crashed on. I even rode it to test shifting. I'm soooo looking forward to getting back on a bike.

The flip side:

• My personal focus has shifted from what I think matters to what I need to do for the contracts I've accepted. This is new to me and I will sort out the right balance given enough time.
• My body is saying "really? you expect to ride???" My answer is... yes
•  I expect more surprises

I will find my balance, it's important to me that I do and so I know it will happen. How much riding, how much office work... what that balance looks like is still to be sorted out

I can say with absolute certainty that what I have gone through has changed me and I am less inclined to compromise on things that I think are important.

So...
a lot of words and no images. That's not in keeping with what I've just written so let me add a few visual highlights of the time spent thinking those thoughts... treat this as a little bit of the churn and accumulation of cobwebs inside my head. I've been (and still am) very positive about this. I just haven't talked much about how hard it has been and still is to keep that positive view on life. That's for another time...

The Bowker / Sher gathering to say farewell to Bowpark

Building it up